Do you think I think my identity lies in what I do?
I don't know about you. I just know that performance-based identity is something I have struggled with for nearly a half a century. I figure if it has been such an issue with me, perhaps other musicians may find it a challenge to be set free in this area also.
Our perception of self-worth can easily get tangled up with what we think others think about us. We measure ourselves by ourselves and wind up comparing apples to oranges and put ourselves in the wrong barrel. If I am an apple, then I should be perfectly content to look like one, smell like one and taste like one. If I am comparing myself to the oranges or bananas in the adjacent crates then I may think I am not tangy enough, not brightly colored enough ( I love the color yellow) and pretty dull by comparison.
Having our identity in what we do sets us up for periodic hard-drive crashes. It gets down to the deepest part of our feelings of security, value, approval by God and others. It's best if we don't go there.
I am who God made me to be. If I look at my reflection in the eyes of friends and family and judge my worth by what I see in their eyes, then I am always at the mercy of others to affirm my worth and identity. They will only be able to see what I do, not the soul that was worth a river of blood. The reflection in their eyes will be colored by what I do for them or others they care about. It is rare to find those who will see me through the eyes of Jesus on the cross.
Only you can determine the weight that you have assigned to the opinion of others. I must confess, the older I get, it's getting less and less! I really only have ONE BOSS to please. And I am painfully aware that it is a 24/7 task to be sure I am following His agenda, not my own. I really can't be too concerned about what others think about the job I am doing. They are not the ones that will pay my wages at the end of the day.
I do try if at all possible to live at peace with all men (and women). But sometimes I have found that they have such agenda's of their own that I can not please them. No way, does my way, go their way! So, I give them space and grace to have it their way as much as MY BOSS will permit. The funny thing is that He sometimes puts these difficult people in my path to see if I will give them my coat as well as my shirt. He just wants to know if I have been listening to those stories He put in the Bible. I only win when I agree with Him. When the pressure causes me to conform to His Image, like warm clay yields to the Makers hand, then my identity becomes more His than mine. His unique fingerprints and the life-line of His palm become embedded in me as I relax, soften, receive His touch and His signature of ownership. That is when He calls me "friend" and I can have no higher value, no greater identity than to be "the friend of God".
Reflections and Prayer: